Enhancing you

Yet again I was watching a trashy television show which sparked an idea. I'm starting to see a pattern here :P

The scene: Two girls chatting, the camera pans out to show one girl sitting on a dental chair. She's not dressed in any operating theatre clothing though, its all Gucci and Prada here. Another woman approaches, back facing the camera, a needle is produced, then inserted into the forehead. They seem happy, but its hard to see any expression on their faces.

I personally don't have an issue with botox, although I know some people do. I ask to leave that to the side for a minute. What i'd like to bring to attention is what people (in general or particular people) are prepared to do for 'mating encounters' and what they are not prepared to do?

It seems more and more that all bets are off when making ourselves look good. So when does it stop being us and start being fake?

Because as simple as it sounds, the girls in the television scene would (I believe) argue that they are beautiful and young looking, therefore anything that in their eyes makes and keeps them beautiful and young looking, is justified and indeed congruent with them.

So lets go to another extreme. Generally people don't want to have to pay for sex. Going to a prostitute or gigolo can seem in society as a sign of weakness, that sex for someone is a paid relationship. Yet there are plenty of brothels around, so obviously people are paying to use them.

Where the issue seems to sit is where people feel comfortable. And these days, if your not comfortable doing something, but you want to, then join a group of like minded people, until you are.

The point im making is that it's your life. I see time and time again people holding themselves back because they fear social norms. I can't go to a bar by myself, I can't approach someone I don't know to have a conversation, I can't go online dating, they are out of my league etc. etc. etc.

Choosing your dating life, i.e. whether you want a long term relationship, or to be single and have a healthy dating life, doesn't get much of a show in high school. It isn't bought to peoples attention as an important life choice by other people. But it is a choice that you will want to make at some stage.

Because unlike a lot of what we get told, it doesn't just magically happen for the vast majority of us. It takes commitment.

Hope this helps.

Joehann.

P.s Thanks for reading, leave a comment or a question!

Joehann meets honesty.

I first discovered honesty when I was trying to get laid.

The women that I met were chatting to me, but there was no emotion involved, it was a water cooler discussion at the bar. Quite vague, impersonal and stuttered talk about general subjects. I felt after a while I was frustrating other people, along with myself. Women’s interest would peak at hello and then dangle from there. Something was missing to me and them.

This was an issue for me. Bringing the conversation and interaction to an emotional level, where I was either going to get liked or disliked. Not just because it forced a position, but how was it going to go and then what? What’s next?

This is where my mind flicked over to the other train of thought. Instead of the why, the why not.

I mean I didn’t ask to like women and want to chase them. Growing up I was afraid I might be gay which made me weary of this step. I decided to let go the fact that I might not be attracted to women. I felt like I was holding on to expectation.

So what did this mean for me practically? This step made me focus more on myself, less on others. I focused on what I wanted, and the best way for me to get there. Going to bars and clubs by myself was my stand. It was about me, and what I was required to do to get what I wanted.

I also realised that it wasn’t selfish to fulfil my desires, and to put myself first. I mean I didn’t ask for these desires and feelings. They just seemed to be bestowed upon me. And they were there for a reason.

After a long time of what felt like intentionally ignoring what I wanted, it felt great to be able to do something about it. To have a choice in the matter, rather than denying myself.

Honesty to me understands that everything has its reason, and it’s ok. 

I think sometimes we take it for granted what we want, and don’t know where it comes from, just where it is going to take us.

I have been trying for a long time to describe this form of honesty, and what it means. It isn’t simple for me, this is just a story to talk about honesty.

Hope this helps.

Chris.