Location x 3

Wouldnt you like a cheat sheet for pubs and clubs?
Would it give you more confidence if you had some new information or a new way to look at pubs and clubs?

Pubs and clubs are social places, people go there to be social. So how can you tell if someone is there to be social with their friends, or with new people.

One way is location.

There are places in all pubs and clubs that draw people wanting to meet new people. Now I'm not one for stereotyping, but if I see two people, dressed well, standing in a walkway, I see that as them making the first move.

So having said that the entrance, and walkways of a bar are places where people are happy to meet new people. These are places to see and be seen. It is easy for passing comments with people which can easily lead onto something more meaningful.

The bar is a place that almost everyone will go to. So there is a great variety of people, with one thing in common. People typically want to get their drink and leave the bar. So here is a good place to make yourself known to people, so if you see them later you can do the 'we go way back' gag.

The couches are a place, in my opinion, for people who want to take themselves out of the bar environment. People who want to be social with their own group usually are around here. There are always around the toilets in a bar.

And although I met my fiancé outside the toilet at a bar, typically people can be a little reserved being by themselves at a bar if they are waiting, or not being in their full group. I advise that you meet these people when there in a different section of the bar.

 Groups of people in bars are fun. Either parties or hens/bucks nights. Some can be inverted, but they are usually confident in their choices when they are backed up by the group.

 I hope this helps.

Joehann

Correct use of language.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with a thought or an idea?
It feels powerful and exciting, it tends to carry more weight than having the same thought during the day.
It gives the impression of life changing, or if not, at least very important.

We'll I woke up in the middle of last night with the term 'correct language' on my mind.
Keeping my phone near my bed I wrote this example down.

I am shy or I act shy?

What is the difference here?

One example brings the word shy into your identity, and one doesn't. Considering yourself shy means that in everything you do, you identify as shy. Meeting new people, hanging out with friends, at home by yourself? We'll yes. If you 'are' something then it is you where ever  you are in whatever you do.

But is this correct? I mean are you shy in your own house with your fridge? Do you act polite, avoid eye contact or become nervous around your fridge? I doubt it.

So describing yourself as shy, is incorrect. And as silly as it seems, it does have consequences.

What im asking, is that you put a word in between 'I' and 'shy' that separates you from the action. You are not shy, you act shy, so it doesn't become an identity.

So saying I act shy would be more correct, if you put it in a sentence 'I act shy around the opposite sex.' If that is the instance that you do act shy.

So why is it so important to use correct language? Big deal, people know what I mean right?

It's all about measuring. You know that you don't act shy around your fridge but you do around the opposite sex? So what's the difference between the two? You've measured it and now you can do something about it. Saying 'I am shy' in a general sense, your saying your shy around everything, so you can't measure your actions in front of the fridge as opposed to the opposite sex.

But if you do use correct language, and separate between different circumstances you can understand that there is a difference. Your not always shy (in this example) and you can disassociate with your action. Which puts you in a more powerful place to decide what you want and change.

If we are all just a little more aware of the language we use, we can be in a more powerful position in our lives.

This is very key.

Hope this helps

Joehann.